New Year’s Eve.
Me and my ex girlfriend sitting in a coffee shop next to the train station. I was staring at the city lights, the running cars, and the busy people through the giant glass window. I cried, so did she.
“I’ sorry. But I don’t think I should waste your time anymore. I guess this is it.”
“… …”
“We can still be friends. Call me if you need to talk.”
Then she left. Her high-heeled shoes echoing off of the hardwood floor and the click-clack faded away gradually, like herself going out of my life.
We never talked after that of course. People say they are going to be friends after they break up but they never are.
I started to have the same nightmares from time to time since then. We walked along the clear stream in a dark forest, speechless. Then she began to run away from me but I was trapped in the forest and never found the way out of it.
In a long time after we broke up I lived like a zombie and repeated my daily routine soullessly.
Several months later, I walked pass the coffee shop, and stopped and stared at the big glass window. A happy family took the table, and the kids were having such big smiles on their faces and waiting for their desserts.
Suddenly a boy’s voice came into my ears,
“You’ve got 24 hours a day, other than go to school and sleep, why cant you spend more time with me?”
Wasn’t that exactly what I said to my ex girlfriend?
I cried there like a sentimental fool. At the moment, I decided to stop mourning for my long gone relationship and take a vacation, which I had no clue was not only going to release me from old memories but also teach me to grow.
It was a sunny afternoon the next day of my vacation. I was at the beach bar starting at the ocean and thinking about her again. Then a strong older guy with healthy tanned skin came towards me, I looked up, and couldn’t help but notice his bristles-covered chin.
“Why do you look so sad? Smile and enjoy the day!” He cheered.
Before I even realized, we were chatting for the next four hours. I was surprised to learn that he was actually over sixty years old. He had been on the road since his early teenhood. I sensed his strong hippie style simply by looking at his wrinkled shirt and brown army shorts.
He had been to too many countries and experienced so much in life. He told me the most fantastic story about him sailing with friends on the sea, and camping in the woods. He also told me about how he was cheated in a strange city forty years ago, and he used the last money to buy some watermelon and sold them to save for transportation ticket to go home…
In some stereotypes, his lifestyle must be somehow miserable. However, it was far from the truth. He had his beloved wife and healthy happy kids; everything else was just like others except he was always searching for new adventures. He told me with his life story that we should learn to keep going on with life, and everything would just happen naturally. I was deeply touched by this kind of heroism in a weary life.
“Life would always be full of heartbreaks, but it gets all better tomorrow.” He said.
That day I understood and thought a lot. Life did not mean just surviving; it was not only about the good things but more like an experience that enriched our days. When I was in my sixties I wished that I could have a wonderful and rich life just like him.
I was so grateful that I met him, and he definitely made my emotional suffering for months worth it. If I had not felt so much pain, I probably would not feel so relieved either.
Unavoidably, I thought of my ex-girlfriend and the precious time we shared together. Maybe she was only a passenger in my life and I should let the memory go.
I had the same dream about her that night. Only this time we were walking together in the green forest, playing with the cold stream eater with our barefoot. She began to jump, and the lights went through the water and split into a rainbow. We were laughing and talking about old stories in our childhood. Time past so fast and evening approached, and the glorious rose-colored sunset over the horizon emerged. I knew it was time for me to say farewell, and it was the last time I ever dreamt about her.